At least three times, I have been challenged in court, of all places, for my ability to connect with clients and hear their stories. The challenge usually comes from the attorney of the parents who are bothered by my presence in their children's lives.

You would think they would be happy for their child to have someone they can talk to when the rest of their lives are a hot mess. Nope. The gall of this Black Wmn to be an important part of my child's life and have a better relationship with them than I do. She has to be tricking them into talking to her. That's what the last parent told the attorney and he repeated in court. I was embarrassed for him.

Charles Duhigg writes extensively about research proving that super communicators can connect with people, even introverts or strangers, and get their entire life story from one single meeting. This level of communication is a lost art highlighted even more by the pandemic and our social isolation.

I have been able to do this all my life. It is something I value as a helping professional. Tricking children? No, I listen to them and ask questions that center them in our relationship. I create a safe space for them to talk about what they see and feel. I have honest conversations with them and don't make promises I can't keep. I value their autonomy and opinions. All of these things lead to synching of breath, pupil dilation, and effective and healthy communication (it's in the book).

When you're in the habit of dominating conversations and controlling the environment, healthy communication can appear odd. It may even seem insincere or even threatening. That still does not diminish its validity.

Signed,
The Angry Blk Wmn